I recently became interested in how exactly a Stay At Home Mom is valued by society...this was sparked because of a comment made to me about what it is I do all day as a SAHM. Let me explain.
I was chatting away with a friend on the phone about how excited I was to get together for the upcoming weekend. And in my motherly haze I thought it was Tuesday, when in fact, it was Wednesday and mentioned this out loud. My single, baby-less friend laughed and said something along the lines of, "Of course you don't know what day it is, all you do is play everyday."
Right. Play. All day, everyday. That's what we do.
When the comment was made I didn't think it bothered me, but in fact it lingered on in my subconscious kind of floating in and out of focus. All I do is play? Seriously? So I turned to my trusted old friend (or evil arch nemesis depending on what I'm researching), Google, to read up a bit more about SAHM's and how they are perceived by society. Because I'm new to the game and I still have conflicted feelings everyday about this choice, I needed to see what else was out there, what other opinions existed. After fiddling with my search keywords I came across loads of information on being a SAHM. My favourite, which I shared with my sister, was how much SAHM's would be paid if they got paid. The title of the article immediately caught my eye "Why Stay-At-Home-Moms Should Earn A $115,000 Salary."
I've highlighted a couple parts of the article that gave me an immense feeling of gratification in being recognized, not only for what I am doing at home but for what all SAHM's are doing day in and day out in the trenches.
"In the tenth annual Mom Salary Survey, researchers examined 6,616 mothers and attempted to value their work by breaking down motherly duties into 10 separate titles: Day Care Center Teacher, CEO, Psychologist, Cook, Housekeeper, Laundry Machine Operator, Computer Operator, Facilities Manager, Janitor and Van Driver."
- I have yet to experience the Psychologist job titles as my son can pretty sum up his feelings in clapping, smiling, sleeping, frowning, crying, or small tantrums, but I'm positive once school beings and socialization begins this will become one of the dominant roles I will play.
"According to the survey, the typical stay-at-home mom works almost 97 hours a week, spending 13.2 hours as a day-care teacher; 3.9 hours as household CEO; 7.6 hours as a psychologist; 14.1 hours as a chef; 15.4 as a housekeeper; 6.6 hours doing laundry; 9.5 hours as a PC-or-Mac operator; 10.7 hours as a facilities manager; 7.8 hours as a janitor and 7.8 hours driving the family Chevy."
- Again I am limited in the Psychologist role but you could definitely up my hours as a janitor and as a driver. Just replace Chevy with Hyundai Santa Fe.
But all I do is play all day long right? That's why I don't know what day it is, because I'm too busy playing. I know that this friend of mine who made this innocent comment didn't mean it as I eventually took it, but I also think that she partly believes what she said. I also think she isn't the only person out there who feels like all SAHM's do is play. Like somehow we won the job-lottery because we lucked out, had children and made the easy and obvious choice of staying home with them instead of going to work. From my experience so far in my short foray in this job, this opinion is generally held by those without children, who have no clue whatsoever about the reality of parenting. And I can forgive that. But it still hurts my feelings as much as I try not to let what others think bother me. I don't what my friends to think I've turned into a useless lump of a woman who no longer contributes to society because I am fortunate enough to be at home, raising my child instead of slugging away at a 9-5. I want my friends and those out there who believe all SAHM's do is play to recognize how hard it is to do what we do. All the jobs we manage to complete throughout any given day, multi-tasking and balancing life, scheduling and planning, organizing and caring. I want my friends and society to recognize how it is a 24 hour, 7 day a week job, with no break. Even if you are away from your children on a date, for a weekend, or even a longer vacation, they are constantly on your mind. "Are they safe? Are they warm? Are they happy? Are they being well-fed? Are they pooping? Are they sleeping?". You do not walk away from this job when bed-time hits, you do not shut off your mom button after 5pm, you do not get to take designated 'breaks' from being a mom, and if you're fortunate enough, you're able to squeeze in a teeny bit of time to yourself once someone else can take over your duties because goodness knows nap-time is actually code word for 'quick, accomplish as much as you can without making too much noise'. And even during those few blissful moments of shopping in a store without little hands reaching out grabbing items of the shelves or racks, I'm still contemplating why my son threw up his entire breakfast and bottle earlier in the morning. "Was it teething? Did I over-feed him? Did oranges not agree with his stomach? I wonder if he'll throw up again today? If he does, should I take him to the doctor? Oh, that's a cute outfit maybe I'll pick that up for him!"
Your children and their well-being literally consumes almost all your thoughts...which is why I have no idea what day it is sometimes. But the best parts of my day, even though I may not know if it's Tuesday or a Wednesday, are the moments where I put my mind to rest, set the chores aside for later, and take some time to actually play with my son. I watch his smile stretch across his face as he realizes that Mommy is going to join in while he puts blocks in a bucket, dumps them out, and starts putting them back in again. And that's when I know that I'm worth more than $115,000 a year to my son.
Here is the link should you be interested in a good read: http://www.forbes.com/sites/jennagoudreau/2011/05/02/why-stay-at-home-moms-should-earn-a-115000-salary/
Amen!!
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