In a beautiful moment last week, my husband and I snuck out for a few hours to attend a friend's birthday party while my mum was on baby duty. He was already asleep for the night, so we were able to leave without feeling too guilty.
While at the party, a girl I know who has two babies of her own, asked me whether or not I was going back to work. She and her husband both work and her baby girls are in daycare full-time five days a week. I informed her I'm trying my hand at the SAHM thing and finally received some recognition for my choice. After shaking her head, she said something along the lines of "Good for you, there's no way I could do it. I couldn't wait to get back to work. You need so much patience to stay at home." (At this point I was desperately hoping some of my baby-less girlfriends were eavesdropping on this conversation). I know this is a controversial debate, staying at home versus going back to work, but in that moment I was so happy to hear her praise me for staying at home with my little man. I guess it just takes a mother who's been there, to know what this decision means and recognize what you're sacrificing when you stay at home (sanity, career, independence, financial security, mostly sanity some days).
I'd really like to keep going on this subject but my little man has decided a 45 minute nap is enough for him and I just can't stand listening to him cry anymore. It's like nails on a chalkboard. Today I feel like I'm sacrificing some of my sanity...wish me luck.
This has been a debate for the ages...since I have been a parent and blogging the work vs stay-at-home debate has raged on. I always say what is best for a particular family is what is best for them, but also not necessarily best for my family. I have read countless articles both pro and con and the underlying feeling is that both sides just want to be heard and respected for their choices.
ReplyDeleteFor a long time being a SAHM was given little respect or worth so I think that is why any validation is so valued.
I have had people tell me over and over that they could never do it...I don't know how to respond to that...other than a quick laugh and replying it isn't for everyone. The truth is, sometimes I think staying home is perceived as a pampered choice for the rich which is usually farthest from the truth.
The bottom line for me is I want to be the ones raising my girls for as long as I can...I went to daycare as a child and I longed to walk home from school to a waiting Mom. I want to be the person to pick them up from school for as long as I can...I know I am lucky to have that option and grateful to have been home with them all these years.